brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need water and some morals
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
