I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
