She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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