wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
