Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
