i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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