making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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