My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
How does one acquire holy water?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
