So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
