Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize