you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
