Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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