Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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