Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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