sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
