It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
