good thing vaginas are great cup holders
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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