Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
