Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
