Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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