Your face is a jimmy john
Ambien. No doubt about it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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