i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
