do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
