Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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