I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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