I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
