Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
