yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize
