it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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