Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize