I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
