I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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