we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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