the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
