She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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