ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
