the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
