I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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