Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
