hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
