how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
