I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You can't just leave with hair like that
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
