I think im going to throw up on grandma
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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