just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
