my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
