My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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