You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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