the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
