what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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