Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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