I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
