Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
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He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
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I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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