i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
