I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
