Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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