Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
