OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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