So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Holy sore nipples Batman
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
