Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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