Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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