Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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