Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
